Learning

Ever since the diagnosis, we have been doing a lot of research, searching the Internet for articles on the tumor, the drugs, the side effects, looking for support groups. This is all "book" learning which feeds our need to know, and while helpful, it isn't really what's needed to take care of Alan. It wasn't until this morning that I started learning how to be the mom of a cancer patient.

The needle accessing Alan's port had come out last night, and the nurse putting in the new one obviously didn't have a lot of experience with ports. The oncology ward was full when we were admitted, so we were on a regular floor, and so there wasn't the same level of familiarity with accessing a port. The process was far more difficult than it should have been and Alan was uncomfortable all night. At the time, I wanted them to start over again but decided not to ask. I didn't want to make waves, rock the boat, put up a fuss, etc. In the morning, they couldn't draw the blood for his labs and we had to go through the whole process again.

That was when I told myself not to doubt my instincts again. This time, a nurse from hematology came down to take care of Alan's port and she reinforced what I had already decided. She told me not to hesitate to ask for someone from the hematology or oncology with more experience if I felt the need. Next time the voice inside whispers, I will speak up for my baby and ask for someone who can take care of him properly.