Christmas without Alan

We could not face spending our first Christmas without Alan at home. We considered a few alternatives, but then an opportunity presented itself - Trent's Retreat. The retreat is a beautiful two-bedroom cabin right by the river in Ballinger, built by the Ueckerts for families facing childhood cancer to get away, in the memory of their son Trent.


Kevin had fun on the playground at Trent's Retreat


We did some Christmas baking while we were there, remembering Alan.


The view from the front porch of the Retreat - the skies were crystal clear, and we spent every evening bundled up at the end of the walkway watching the stars. We got through Christmas by focusing on making it a great holiday for Kevin. He had fun on the retreat's playground and mini-golf course and was thrilled by the opportunity to star-gaze.


Not only did they provide us with this chance to get away, the Ueckerts also collected donations for Alan's research fund at their restaurant. Thank you Misty and David and all the patrons of the Main Street Soda Fountain for adding another $150 to the endowment!

Launching our Hero Fund Raffle Winners

Today two of the raffle winners from the inaugural Alan's Hero Fund Launch joined our SOARS launch to send up their winning rockets! The chalkboard rocket was won by a little boy who is also a cancer fighter who goes to Doc P. His mom saw our event on the St. Baldrick's website and asked to help out. Thank you Yvette!!!

The daughter of a new friend (who has really come out to support us a lot since Alan passed) won the Sponge Bob Square Bob rocket. Harold was reluctant to let his rocket go, especially after putting Alan's face in one of the port holes. Since they're just down the road, we can visit it occasionally.

Unfortunately the third winner, the St. Baldrick's rocket, couldn't join us. Both rockets were launched and recovered successfully, to our great relief. Now to start planning the next Alan's Hero Fund Launch - "like" the Alan's Hero Fund page on Facebook and mark the date - September 14 at STAR Soccer Field!


Proud winner of the Chalkboard Rocket!


Watching as Harold sets up the rocket


A new rocket to test out - we'll sell these as a fundraiser in 2014!


Ready to launch the Sponge Bob rocket


Alan's ready to go up with Sponge Bob and Patrick


5... 4... 3... 2... 1... blast off!


A successful recovery!

Remembering Alan's Birthday

We miss Alan terribly, and his birthday was hard, but you help keep him alive for us when you remember him. Thank you!


Harold continued the tradition, serving as Watch DOG at school on Alan's birthday


Judy and the "aunties" decorated Alan's grave with Sponge Bob and Chuck E. Cheese coins


Ready and waiting to greet our friends at Chuck E. Cheese with a chocolate birthday cake.


One of Alan's little friends with Chuck E prizes!


These sweet girls not only came to celebrate, but brought a donation from a fundraiser of their own!


It was so good to see everyone having so much fun at one of Alan's favourite places!


Kevin with a gigantic slinky - Alan would have loved this!


Kevin playing the giant Fruit Ninja, one of the new games that came in after Alan's favourite Great Ticket Carnival was rotated out. Alan would have had so much fun with this one!


Because it was an early release day at the schools, we were able to start the fundraiser at noon instead of 3 PM. Thanks to everyone who came out, we added almost another $300 to the endowment of Alan's Pediatric Sarcoma Research Fund at MD Anderson!

Our first birthday without Alan

Today will be our first birthday without Alan.

To remember him, we are having a fundraiser at his beloved Chuck E. Cheese. His favourite game is gone - it was moved to another store as part of a regular rotation of the attractions. We know which location it was moved to though, and the manager allowed me to put a picture of Alan in the inside of the game cabinet along with a few words about how much Alan loved the game. Hopefully they will let us know when it moves again. But we will be there for his birthday, with lots of cake to welcome all our friends who come remember Alan and to help us fight childhood cancer in his memory.





To honor his five years of life, we have decided to give five gifts every year for his birthday in his memory. This year, the gifts are:

1. a donation to the Ronald McDonald House Houston to cover a family's stay for one week. RMH Houston was truly a home away from home for us after Alan's first relapse. We had many stays there while getting treatment at MD Anderson, sometimes lasting for months.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. a flock of 5 Wingman beads for Beads of Courage. If you were at Alan's visitation or service or seen pictures from those days, you may recall the incredible lengths of beads documenting Alan's battle with cancer. Alan earned approximately 1362 beads in his almost four years of cancer treatment. With the extra beads he was given by the nurses and Child Life for courage, travelling for his treatment, doing dog and music therapy, birthdays while in treatment, spending Christmas in the hospital and other special events like Beads in Space and Laughter is the Best Medicine, Alan's Beads of Courage were 98 feet long and weighed over 9 pounds.
   
   
   
   
   Thank you Michelle Kobell for these photos of Alan's Beads
   
   
3. to sponsor a song for another child with Songs of Love. They had produced a beautiful song for Alan when he was first diagnosed.
   
   
   Hear Alan's song
   
   
4. items and shipping for Shoe Box Christmas presents through Crown of Life, the church where Alan went to preschool, was baptized, and where we had his memorial service.
   
   
5. a donation to the Make-A-Wish® Central & South Texas chapter. Make A Wish made Alan's simple wish a really special day for our whole family. We want to help them make special days for other families too.
   
   

One year after The Wish

One year ago, we took Alan to the Weston Centre for his very special wish. It's hard to think back to that time. His wish was rushed, since the doctors didn't know how long he would have. In the weeks between coming home and The Wish, we were feeling pretty down. While it was good to be home, we were exhausted since we were taking care of most of Alan's medical needs, learning how to handle all his medications and IVs, handling the dressing changes, and fighting off his infections and nausea. We didn't know if he would make it through the end of the month and we were feeling grim.

And then came The Wish. It was supposed to be a little thing, being able to say "yes" to him. But the Weston Centre tenants, employees of Rackspace, and so many more people had heard about Alan's wish and took it upon themselves to make it huge, amazing, and special.

The effects were both immediate and long-term. It really marked a turning point for us. Alan had a great day, full of smiles and laughter. We felt the energy ourselves, feeling lifted up by everyone's good wishes and support. After The Wish, we took Alan out almost every day. We took our new energy and made the most of the time we had left with Alan.

We often look back and think about that day. The picture below is on our bathroom mirror, so we see that smiling face every day. And we smile with the memories of that day, of The Wish.

Thank you Make A Wish, thank you Graham Weston, thank you all the tenants of the Weston Center, thank you Rackers, thank you Geekdom, thank you to everyone who came to cheer Alan on and lend us your support. We will never forget.

We launched Alan's Hero Fund with a bang!

Our model rocket event to "launch" Alan's Hero Fund  on Sunday was a big success, despite the unusual rainfall last week. The skies cleared in time for the field to dry, the winds were calm, and we had a great turn out. We completely sold out of the raffle rockets, raising $507 from the raffle, merchandise sales (bracelets, Spirit Sticks, buttons, St. Baldrick's t-shirts and Lucky Shoulder Buddies), and refreshments. Added to the $350 in donations made before the event and the proceeds of the first sale of "I Launched Alan's Hero Fund" t-shirts, we are sitting at a total of $1,317.36 - so far. We have the second sale of "I Launched Alan's Hero Fund" t-shirts happening right now, which will add at least another $200 to our total. If you would like one, this is your last chance. You have until Sunday, September 29 to go to http://teespring.com/alansfund2 to order one.


The event t-shirts look great!  Order yours by 9/29 here.

Not only did we have great weather and a great turn out, we had reporters from the San Antonio Express-News and News 4 come out to cover our event, thanks to the hard work of friends and the PR team at St. Baldrick's Foundation.


We made Page A3 of the San Antonio Express-News on Monday, September 23


Dylan gives an interview to the news station.


Our television coverage

While we certainly had some hiccups with long lines to launch, having correct change, and making sure people knew how to find the field, it was such a great event, we are already coming up with ideas on how to make things run more smoothly. With all your amazing support, we are looking into making this an annual event.
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[Slideshow - Launching Alan's Hero Fund]



Click here for more photos from one of our event sponsors, the Alamo Rocketeers.

CCAM continues, two more weeks until we "launch" Alan's Hero Fund

This weekend, we continued observing Childhood Cancer Awareness Month by participating in the Line of Hope/Conga Against Cancer Across America. It was a last minute thing, but we had some friends join us to remember Alan and stand with us to raise awareness for childhood cancer! Team Alan's Angels raised $150 for St. Baldrick's and had some great photos to share with the project.


The Padilla's, Vodrazka's and Sachanowicz's joined our portion of the conga line




Abbey with Alan's ribbon


Our friend Patti with the infusion nurses at UNC

Due to popular demand, we started another campaign for the "I Launched Alan's Hero Fund" t-shirts. We had to finish the first campaign after 10 days in order to have the shirts printed and delivered in time for the rocket launch fundraiser on September 22, but since there were enough people that had missed it the first time around, the t-shirts (available in four styles - crew neck, v-neck, kids, and ladies relaxed fit) will be available to order for the next three weeks. Order by September 29 - the shirts will be printed and delivered after the campaign ends. It is unlikely we will be able to offer this shirt again after September 29.




Thanks to all the orders from the first campaign, Teespring has already deposited the proceeds from the first round of t-shirts to our fundraiser! Thank you to everyone who ordered a shirt!



The rockets for the raffle prizes are in their final stages of construction. There's only two more weeks to go before the big fundraiser launch on September 22. We hope you can join us!

Some thoughts for Childhood Cancer Awareness month

Some thoughts as we go into September and Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. We're coming up on nine months without Alan. This weekend, however, is a different kind of milestone. We have been spending time at WorldCon right here in our home town. It's no secret we're a geeky family, and Harold and I had been looking forward to the time we could share this world with our boys. But last December I had to make the conscious decision to buy just three memberships for this Con. Alan was still with us, far longer then we had predicted or even hoped for in September. But we knew he would not be with us this weekend. So the plan for this weekend was our first step forward without Alan. We've tried to keep him with us in our family photos, usually with a photo or other image of him. At the Photo Booth though, we decided to hold penguins, one of those monochromatic animals he loved so much. Alan would have had so much fun tossing live action Angry Birds with Kevin.



I've had some people admire and ask about the SF-themed shirts I've been wearing to the Con so far. Because Childhood Cancer Awareness Month starts today, I won't be wearing my geek gear - instead, I'll wear gold for Alan. And if just one person asks me about my shirt, and I can raise awareness about the funding gap in pediatric research and why childhood cancer needs more attention, I'll consider it a good day's work.



Finally, we are so grateful to everyone who ordered an "I Launched Alan's Hero Fund" t-shirt - we sold 109 t-shirts and $460 will go directly to St. Baldrick's Foundation to support childhood cancer research in Alan's name. Thank you!

I have already heard from several people who had missed the opportunity to order a shirt. Unfortunately, we had to close orders after ten days in order to print and deliver the shirts in time for the launch. If enough people indicate an interest in ordering at least 50 shirts at $17, I can relaunch the campaign at Teespring (this time with a longer window to order). Send me an e-mail, comment on Facebook, or leave a comment here if you are interested and how many shirts you would want.

Kindergarten

Today should have been Alan's first day of Kindergarten. This is our first major missed milestone and it's hard not to think about what might have been. Alan loved going to school, so much that he cried at first when the bus brought him home from preschool. He loved his friends, his teachers, and learning. He would have been so excited to be able to spend the whole day at school.


Coming home his first day of preschool - August 2011

Launching Alan's Hero Fund

Two weeks ago, we announced the creation of Alan's Hero Fund at St. Baldrick's Foundation. We will be having a special event on the afternoon of September 22 to "launch" the fund - a special rocket launch at the Kitty Hawk Flying Field. This will be a fundraiser with raffle rockets, refreshments, and a few Childhood Cancer Awareness items for sale and some big high powered rockets from the Alamo Rocketeers. We'll share more details later for those of you interested in attending.

We are also selling t-shirts (with an amazing graphic of the St. Baldrick's mascot Lucky riding a rocket) through TeeSpring for anyone who wants to boast "I launched Alan's Hero Fund"! The shirts are $15 each and available in a Classic Crewneck, V-neck, Ladies Fit, and Child sizes. All the proceeds will go directly to St. Baldrick's Foundation, in honor of Alan and benefiting his Hero Fund which supports sarcoma research. TeeSpring sells t-shirts in limited time campaigns, so be sure to order your shirts by Thursday, August 29.



Thank you for remembering Alan with us and helping us create a legacy in his name!

Alan's Hero Fund

It has been very important for us to find ways of remembering Alan and making a mark on the world in his name.

The simplest way is to do an act of kindness in Alan's memory. While the Kindness Project set their International Day of Kindness last Saturday as a unified day to act, you can do an act of kindness any time. If you choose, there are customized cards with Alan's name you can use.

We have been telling you about Alan's research fund at MD Anderson. Last month, we were so able to announce that the fund had been endowed and we will start giving out an annual grant from the Alan P. Sanders Pediatric Sarcoma Research Fund next June. Though we have established the fund, we can continue to add to the endowment so the grants can be bigger.

But as we hinted earlier when sharing about Harold's second shave of the year with St. Baldrick's. we have another way to remember Alan. St. Baldrick's is starting to set up Hero Funds, a way for families to honor and remember their Honored Kid with a permanent presence under the St. Baldrick's Foundation umbrella. And the great news is, thanks to all the support to our Alan's Angels team, Team Harris, our friend Patti Morfeld and Alan's fellow cancer warrior Gavin, the $10,000.00 needed to establish Alan's Hero Fund has already been raised!

With Alan's Hero Fund, anyone participating at any St. Baldrick's event can dedicate their fundraising to his fund (without taking away from their team or event totals - this is a secondary designation of the money). It also means that fundraising events other than head shaves can be done to raise money for pediatric cancer research in Alan's memory. Joseph Moore has already committed to using his half marathon this fall to raise awareness and money for Alan's fund!

How is the Hero Fund different from the Research Fund at MD Anderson? The money raised for St. Baldrick's is not invested - it is put directly into research. Just this summer, St. Baldrick's gave more than $22 million in 63 grants to research projects in 17 countries. While that is true with or without Alan's fund, establishing the Hero Fund allows us to direct money raised in Alan's name to fight the cancer that took Alan away from us too soon. Sarcomas are so rare and varied, they need every possible source of research.


Alan and Daddy - post shave, St. Baldrick's San Antonio March 2012

Acts of Kindness in Alan's Memory

May 2011, Alan feeds Kevin blueberries [video]

The MISS Foundation is a volunteer organization committed to providing C.A.R.E. - counseling, advocacy, research, and education- services to families experiencing the death of a child. The founder of the MISS Foundation started The Kindness Project as a way for families to honor their deceased child and to help themselves heal.



One of the reasons we want to create Alan's research fund at MD Anderson and his Hero Fund at St. Baldrick's is to keep his memory alive. The Kindness Project is another smaller but more personal way to do that. While July 27 is International Project Kindness Day, any day is a good to do an act of kindness in memory of a lost child. Alan's Uncle Duli has customized the printable cards from the MISS Foundation with Alan's name. If you are so inclined, please spread some kindness in Alan's memory, or in the memory of another beloved angel, and share your story and pictures.

Six months

Today marks six months since we lost Alan. It's been only a moment and it's been a lifetime. We will spend time together as a family today, in a park that Alan had enjoyed. Last week, Judy went with Lisa and Stephanie to take some of the books and toys donated by the 46 Mommas to our hospital, Methodist Children's. This was our first time back in the hospital since we came for the Beads of Courage Beads in Space tour last September, and due to the renovation, the first time back on the Ped/Onc floor since Alan went to MD Anderson last spring. It was startling to see things look so different and yet the same.

Seeing the staff that had known and taken care of Alan was bittersweet, but it was touching to see how many had remembered us, especially since it had been so long since Alan had been inpatient there.

This weekend, we wrote Alan's name in the sand. We were sad that we couldn't take him to the beach one more time but realistically, we know it would have difficult for him to be at the beach and not to be able to plunge right into the water. Seeing the waves come in and slowly wash his name away was hard feeling to process.








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[Thank you Russ and Denise for this wonderful slideshow of Alan's life]